number eight.

A year and a half ago, in October 2020, Larry and I received a promise from God. A promise that we would have another baby. That promise came through someone completely unexpected who knew nothing about our situation.

At that time, we had already had 4 miscarriages, but had just found out we were pregnant a few days earlier.

Needless to say, we were super excited. That promise came at just the right time. It gave me incredible hope that the baby I was pregnant with MUST be the baby God was promising, right?

Wrong.

It was only a few short weeks later that we lost them. Yes, them. It was twins, and I lost them a week apart.

That was a hard one to bounce back from. We took almost a year off before trying again. During that year, we met Dr. Poppy Daniels. She began to correct minor things that could cause recurrent miscarriage.

In October 2021, I was pregnant again. The week I found out, I received another word from the Lord, that by this time next year I would have a child. So CLEARLY God was talking about this baby. This was the child that was meant to complete our family.

But I was wrong again.

I temporarily lost a lot of faith. I had decided that God’s promises weren’t actually for me. That our family just had to be complete with Oliver.

I ended up on depression medicine for a minute. That sixth loss was more than I could bear. I had completely given up…on everything.

But then, something changed. We had a “Vision Sunday” at our church sometime in January. Our pastor, my dad, spoke about his vision for the church but then also talked to us about our vision for our lives. I knew then, like I’ve always known, that our family wasn’t actually complete.

But I wasn’t ready to try again. My heart was still broken, and medically there was no reason to think that another pregnancy would turn out any different.

After many long talks, Larry and I decided to wait until after our next appointment with Dr. Poppy in March to try again. We wanted to make sure that there was something else we could try before willingly going through those emotions again.

But…God had other plans. I’ve never been one to share things publicly this early but…

I’m pregnant. For the eighth time.

And while I want people to be excited for us, what I want more is for people to pray.

I FULLY believe that this is the child that God has chosen to complete our family. I believe that I will bring this baby home, happy and healthy, from the hospital. And I believe that this baby will finish out the baseball team my husband has always wanted. Ha!

And I know what some of you are thinking. “How can you possibly share this when there’s a solid chance it won’t happen?”

Honestly, theres 2 reasons.

First, this is me stepping out in faith. By publicly announcing that I’m having a baby, I am trusting that God is going to provide. Yes, I’ve already had bumps in the road. I’ve already had a few “scares” that something may be wrong. But I believe. I believe it will all be okay. I believe that I will bring a baby home this fall.

Second, in a T.V. show recently, a character said something that really spoke to me. He said, “I know we’re terrified. But not buying into this pregnancy won’t make it any less scary. And it won’t make it hurt any less if something goes wrong. It will only make us regret not celebrating every day of our child’s life.”

Daniel 3:18 says, “But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

Even if for whatever reason, this isn’t the baby that is supposed to complete our family, I will still choose to trust God. I will still choose to believe that He has another child for us. I will still believe that His plans are good.

So, can I ask you a favor? Well, two actually.

1. Pray with us. Pray that this pregnancy goes well. Pray that everything goes wonderfully with the baby, and that the baby and I stay healthy.
2. Celebrate with us! While I fully believe this child will join us this fall, I also believe that every single day he or she is with me is a day worth celebrating.

Here’s to my precious rainbow baby!